Community: Real Life

Going to university

Sarah, 18, and Daryl, 21, both thought university was out of their reach, but they managed to overcome the hurdles and are now happily settled into uni life.

Sarah, 18

Sarah

Torn between her dreams to go to uni and parents who needed her support, Sarah faced a tough decision after leaving school.

Neither of my older sisters went to university and it isn't the norm in my family. I grew up in an area where a lot of people don't even go to school, let alone university.

My parents got divorced when I was quite young and all my life I've been torn between my Mum and Dad. They both have their own problems to deal with; I've lived with my mum since I was 12 and helped her recover from schizophrenia. She also suffers from a heart problem and finds it very difficult to get around. I used to worry that I'd be letting her down if I went away to university and wasn't around to look after her. My dad suffers from arthritis and he has also battled through alcoholism and depression.

I thought going to university would mean I wouldn't be able to see either of my parents easily or be around if they needed me. Sometimes I felt I had no support in making my decision about going to university. I knew that neither parent could afford to support me through my studies so the situation looked pretty bleak.

I started to think there was no way I would be able to make it to university, even though I really wanted to go and get a head start for myself in life. I knew that having a university qualification would set me up for a great future.

When I finally spoke to a careers advisor, I was amazed at how much financial help was available. My advisor helped me apply for a Widening Participation Grant, which would cover the costs of going to university as well as covering my transport costs. This meant that I could go and visit my Mum a lot more than I originally thought possible. Knowing that she is coping and doing alright without me gives me the peace of mind to concentrate on my studies and take advantage of all that Loughborough University has to offer.

I'm only in my first year but I know that coming to university really was the right choice. I'm having such a great time making new friends and learning new things that I want time to slow down and for university to last forever!

Daryl, 21

When Daryl was having a tough time at home, studying gave him the sanctuary he needed and led him to a whole new life at Northumbria University.

Daryl

I was born in the Lake District but we moved to Loughborough when I was three. Not long after the move, my Dad ran away with my Mum's best friend.

I still remember my Mum crying on the couch but not understanding why, or when my Dad was going to be coming back.

So we became a single parent family and money got really tight. Mum was getting up at half five every morning and working all the hours she could.

My Mum started a new relationship and it wasn't long before her new partner and his children from a previous relationship began to cause trouble. He and his children resented me and I got blamed for everything that went wrong at home. The violence started really quickly, and for years I was the scapegoat that he took everything out on.

At first, the tension at home led me to get into fights at school and I was always bottom of the class, but over the years I started to treat schoolwork as a refuge. I realised that studying provided a means of escape from it all and that it could help me build the kind of life I wanted. I started spending my lunchtimes in the lab working alone. Later, other students who also felt isolated joined me.

It was around the same time that things came to a head at home and my Mum's partner told me I wasn't welcome there anymore. I managed to get some good GCSE grades and I started doing A-levels at college but dropped out to work full-time so I could afford to get my own place and some financial independence. The following year I re-enrolled at college and did a BTEC and an A-level on a sports course.

I knew that a degree would set me up for a good career but I didn't know how I would manage it. The turning point was when I spoke to a careers advisor about my options and realised that it was a real possibility. She gave me plenty of information on how I could get the support I needed to go to university.

I went away and investigated different courses and universities, and made the decision to study psychology. I like the subject because it helps you understand your own, and other people's, behaviour.

I have just finished writing a film and two self-help books, and my long-term goal is to set up an advice website to help other young people realise their potential. Right now though, I am having a fantastic time at university, and doing something that makes me happy. My degree has given me the focus I needed and helped me achieve my independence.


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