Community: Real Life

Being two halves

What's it like growing up in Britain when your roots are from a different culture? Julia, 17, found her dual English and Chinese identities difficult to embrace as a child, but now she's happy that it makes her unique.

Julia

My parents moved from Vietnam to England during the Vietnam War; it must have been weird for them to adapt to different surroundings and learn the English language. It was a different story for me and my sisters, as all we knew was being English and we had to go back to our Chinese roots and learn from scratch what it's like to be Chinese.

This didn't hit me until I started my first year of Chinese school at the age of 11. I remember the first day quite vividly; I went in with my big sister and my Dad, looked at the class and felt nauseous. It might sound stupid now, but I was so used to the English environment that I felt different in the class, even though everyone was the same as me. Same colour hair, same colour eyes, same colour skin. Then I saw this guy who wasn't Chinese; he was an intern student learning Chinese. I tried talking to him in English but he made me speak back to him in Chinese. That's when I realised that to feel equal as a person I had to embrace my Asian culture. I began to learn that being Chinese made me unique.

Finding friends - and finding myself

When I was in secondary school I moved from one group of friends to another. I was hanging out with Vietnamese and Chinese people and I still felt uncomfortable because they liked different things to me. I suddenly got pushed out of that group for being too much of an outsider. I eventually found a group of new friends who accepted me for who I am and to this day, they are still the best friends a girl could ask for. They taught me that to be myself, I have to learn to love myself and accept the way I am. They knew where I was coming from because they all had something unique and quite different about themselves.

Life at home

My home life was another story. My Dad's best language is Chinese, whereas my Mum is better at speaking in Vietnamese. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, so they'd have to ask the other person how a certain word is said. When I went to my friends' houses I also noticed how different my home life is. For instance, at my house you have to take your shoes off at the front door so you don't dishonour the family of the house. Because we're Buddhists, we also have a room where my Mum goes to meditate and pray to my dead ancestors and God. When it comes to celebrating Chinese New Year, we have to stick to traditions by cleaning the house thoroughly for three days until New Year starts, and then we can't clean at all over the New Year period! My Mum puts up small red banners around the house to keep the demons, bad spirits and ghosts away. In a way, because I believe all of the traditions, it makes me feel safe.

"There are times where I keep both cultures separate but I would never forget or abandon one for the other, because then I wouldn't feel whole as a person."

The highs and lows of having two cultures

There are many good things about having two cultures. I feel individual, and it's not like a phase which fades once you grow up, it stays with you forever. I like teaching my friends about a different culture so they'll understand me more as a person.

When I was younger, I use to enjoy going to the park with my sisters but that was spoilt when a bunch of girls swore at us and told us to "go back home" because we didn't belong here. I've always been told that if you experience racism you should tell an adult, and that's what we did, but the adult turned their back on us. Looking back, I should have told someone more responsible, like a parent or teacher because they have a bigger chance of helping you out. I still feel angry that I didn't fight back for my culture and didn't ask the adult why they wouldn't help me, but in a way I feel that I've become stronger as a person through the experience.

One day, I want to set up my own telephone helpline where young people who have experienced racism can call up and confidentially ask for help or simply talk to someone if they're upset about racist comments.

Now that I'm older, I feel that being Chinese and English is something to be happy about and celebrate. Sure, there are times where I keep both cultures separate but I would never forget or abandon one for the other, because then I wouldn't feel whole as a person. My advice to someone who is in a similar situation to me is to remember that you're unique and no matter what horrible comments are thrown at you for being different you don't have to be the same as everyone else to fit in.


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