Community: Real Life

Ruling planets rip-off


Gemma Nash

Gemma, 18, is at university studying magazine journalism and feature writing. She loves shopping, dancing and writing and hopes to become a successful journalist for a glossy magazine.

If you let horoscopes rule your days then you've got Gemma's sympathy. She'd rather let life take its course than believe far-fetched predictions.

Have you ever found yourself flicking through a magazine in a shop just to check if today's the day you're going to met your soul mate or get that job promotion? No? Well congratulations. According to my horoscope today, in three different magazines, Mercury is in place to help me think, 'ruling' Mars is going to help me take challenges head on, and if I'm single my new love may be closer thank I think.

That's good, because I was so worried about losing the ability to think. They also forgot to mention that I may be walking, talking and quite possibly eating today too.

The nice astrologer lady even cares so much about my fortune that she's given me a phone line to call to find out more information. It costs 90p per minute, lasting for a total of five which is a real bargain if it means finding out what 'that guy' really thinks of you when you could easily find out for yourself.

Horoscopes just seem to be everywhere lately, or at least since I've been looking. I used to work at a supermarket where they published a store magazine with food inspirations, recipes and on the back page, you guessed it ­- horoscopes. Apparently I should venture into aisles I normally wouldn't.

"I'd personally rather spend my hard earned cash doing things in the present, not finding out what's happening in March, I'm not there yet."

The problem is it's easy to get sucked in, and even go as far as screeching at the top of your lungs while jumping up and down on the spot saying: "That's so true!" I haven't done this personally, but I've witnessed it. This makes me really suspicious of astrologer's intentions.

With six billion people in the world, working out at 500 million people per horoscope, what are the chances every single Virgo on the planet is going to get a lucky text at 7pm tonight? Low I expect. And have you ever noticed that somewhere in your horoscope you'll get a bit of life advice too, you know the phrases I'm talking about: "You're fabulous, Taurus!" or "You can do it, Virgo!" My horoscope told me yesterday that 'A prince charming was going to catch me off guard and sweep me right off my feet'; they just forgot to inform me of his whereabouts.

At the risk of sounding like a bitter individual, can I just point out that I accept that some of you will enjoy buying a magazine based on the fact it has a yearly horoscope special and that's fine, it's your money after all. I'd personally rather spend my hard earned cash doing things in the present, not finding out what's happening in March, I'm not there yet. I'm a girl who believes in letting life take its course, not listening to what some lady who has probably only been in the job for five minutes has already decided will happen.

People will always be naturally curious to read about themselves. Certain magazines like Prediction, Vision and Psychic News have made a success out of it. We're all a bit nosey and curious to know what to look out for on the 10th - I just hope it isn't the Sun rising over 'Mercury's southern atmosphere' again.

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